The Single Life

Most people dread being single. They are always longing to be in relationship with someone - that special boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife. True, I desire to get married and have kids and raise a beautiful family one day, but for right now, I'm content being single.

I have been slowly reading this book called Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. For any single lady out there, this is a MUST READ! It emphasizes time and time again how the phase of singleness is not a time to hate and dread, but a time to take advantage of and see its benefits! It's a time to travel and see the world, a time to get financially stable on your own two feet, a time to experience life and all it has to offer! Over the last few years of singleness, I have traveled to many new places such as Utah, Chicago, St. Louis, Honduras, El Salvador, and New York City! I have also become completely debt-free and have a sense of financial security that brings immense amount of peace. However, at times, I have found myself wishing for that special someone to come along or wishing I was married like my best friends or having children like them. Though I think it is such a blessing that those things have happened to them, for me, God has determined it is just not the right time yet. As I look back on these last three years, I fully understand why the Lord hadn't brought Mr. Right into my life yet. I wasn't ready. There was still so much work to do in myself and with my faith. Here is what Lady in Waiting has to say about the time of singleness:

"The perfect time to make the most of every opportunity is while you are single. Every believer should use time wisely, as Ephesians 5:15-17 says: 'Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.' The single woman can be involved in the Lord's work on a level that a married woman cannot because of the distraction and responsibilities of being a wife and mother. Ironically, some single women can be so distressed by their single state that they become emotionally more distracted than a wife and mother of four children. Rather than staying home worrying about another 'dateless' Saturday night, realize how much valuable time has been entrusted to you at this point in your life. Rather than resent your many single hours, embrace them as a gift from God--a package that contains opportunities to serve Him that are limited only by your own self-pity and lack of obedience."

The excerpt is so true. In my time of singleness, I have been afforded ample opportunities that I probably wouldn't have had if I was in a relationship or married. I am just a few days away from finishing my 90-Day Reading Plan of the entire Bible. I have started leading my very first Community Group 2 months ago which has proven to be such a blessing but I never thought I had the time to handle that commitment before now. I have traveled to a number of places that I probably wouldn't have considered or been able to afford if I had a husband and children at this time.

In my daily Bible reading a few days ago, I came across this very applicable passage in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. It says: "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

I feel this passage just reinforced what Kendall & Jones were saying in their book. Don't always be wishing you were on the greener pasture on the other side. Embrace your singleness. Now is the time to take advantage of everything that is before you. There is no other time in your life where you will have complete and utter focus on the Lord with as few distractions as possible. So take advantage of it and don't let this opportunity pass you by!