Melt Me, Mold Me

The lyrics of this hymn I used to sing growing up in church just came on my heart and mind this evening. The hymn was called "Spirit of the Living God." You can hear just one version of it here. The lyrics are so powerful...

"Spirit of the Living God,

Fall afresh on me.

Spirit of the Living God,

Fall afresh on me.

Melt me, Mold me,

Fill me, Use me.

Spirit of the Living God,

Fall afresh on me."

That's the prayer of my heart each and every day. I want the all-consuming fire of the Holy Spirit to dwell in me and to change me from the inside out. I desire to be melted and molded by His Love, His compassion, and His Spirit. I want to see things through His eyes and love who He loves. I want to be humble enough to admit when I'm wrong, to change to be more like Him, and to constantly be moldable. 

"And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

~ 2 Corinthians 3:18 ~

Out of Hiding

"I saw it all, still I chose the cross."

He saw it all, and still chose the cross for me. Incredible, indescribable grace....

"Oh as you run, what hindered love, will only become part of the story..."

Take a Moment

"There you go lifting my load again..."

Be Still

A view from my cruise a few weeks ago, and a gentle reminder from my Savior.

Crash the Chatterbox

Took this book with me to read on my Caribbean Cruise and it was fantastic. Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC is one of my favorite pastors who has been teaching me through his sermons, blogs, and books. I recently went to Charlotte last month for their band's live album recording which was PHENOMENAL! Pastor Steven's first two books are called Sun Stand Still and Greater. I read Greater and really gained a lot from it, so when his third book was released, I made sure to purchase it. It is called Crash the Chatterbox. For someone who struggles greatly with depressive and persistent negative thoughts, this subject matter was perfect for an area of my life that I am constantly trying to improve on and where I know God wishes for me to have life and joy. Here are some quotes that stood out to me from the book:

• "He has not chosen you blindly but intentionally, even while knowing you inwardly and intimately. And let me tell you why this is some of the best news in the history of the universe: If this God has chosen you while totally knowing even the worst parts of you, then you no longer have to live up to anything. Instead, you are now empowered to live out of an awareness of divine acceptance."
• "This is one of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity: we're comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else's highlight reel."
• "Because fear often finds its power, not in our actual situation but in what we tell ourselves about our situation."
• "It's also true that God's Word cannot adequately sustain you--no matter how prevalent it is around you--until you receive it within you."
• "Flip the script on what the Enemy meant for evil--let Me use it for something good. Take the first half of the equation the Enemy is presenting to you, insert grace and truth in the middle of it, and you'll discover a much different outcome."
• "We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses."
• "The more you grow in Christ and the closer you get to fulfilling the things He put you on the earth to do, the more intense the battle with your chatter becomes."
• "Going to the next level isn't about graduating from difficult circumstances and dark emotions. It's resolving to live with the mindset that declares, My joy is not determined by what happens to me but by what Christ is doing in me and through me."
• "Inner conflict is often a confirmation of your calling. The Enemy only fights those who pose a threat."
• "Don't let what you expected keep you from what God wants you to experience."
• "But gratitude allows us to disconnect discouragement at the power source by choosing to call God good in spite of our situation."
• "Gratitude begins where our sense of entitlement ends."
• "Believe what God has already declared to be true about you. Resist the lies. Enjoy the brief reprieve with every victory God grants you, but keep the gloves close by, knowing that if you will simply keep making contact, ultimate victory is yours."

Wake Up The Wonder

Elevation Weekend has come to a close. It was spectacular! One of my best weekends EVER! Road tripped with 20 amazing WEC'ers to Charlotte, NC to attend Elevation Worship's live album recording and got to worship with over 13,000 others in the Time Warner Cable Arena. Talk about WOW! God truly woke up our wonder that evening. God was truly in that place, and our hearts were on fire with His love! Then got to attend Elevation Church and hear Pastor Steven Furtick preach live! Talk about another WOW! He is one of my favorite pastors who has really ministered to me through his preaching over the last 4 years. After all is said and done, all I can think is....can we do it all again? ;)

27 Things I've Learned in 27 Years

Here are 27 things I've learned over the course of my 27 years of life...

1. Never go grocery shopping hungry.
2. No one person can fill your every need. Only God can.
3. I am nobody's keeper. People must take responsibility for their own actions.
4. I am nobody's savior. There is one Savior, and His name is Jesus Christ.
5. Live within your means; budget your money. As a result, you can bless and give to others.
6. Not much comes close to the deliciousness of freshmade guacamole and Chipotle.
7. Love and serve others with all that you have. Put others before yourself.
8. Life is a journey. Always strive to better yourself, but don't expect yourself to be perfect.
9. Travel and see the world. Acknowledge and appreciate people of different cultures and ways.
10. Tell people you love them often; you never know when you won't have that chance.
11. Your body is your temple. Treat it well; it will pay off in the long run.
12. Acknowledge your weaknesses and flaws. Work on them. It will make you a better person.
13. Use your strengths, talents, and gifts to bring God glory in all that you do.
14. Our human understanding of right/wrong, just, and fairness might not be the same as God's view.
15. Surround yourself with people of like minds and interests who will encourage you to pursue your hopes, goals, and dreams, and encourage you in your faith.
16. What you believe affects what you think. What you think affects what you say and do. Know what you believe.
17. You can never DO anything to make God love you more. He loves you just as you are.
18. Change can be good. Learn to embrace it.
19. Hold onto the innocence of a child. I still have 10 stuffed animal penguins.
20. Never settle for less than God's best in relationships.
21. Plaza Azteca is the best. Enough said.
22. Be friends with people who will challenge you and keep you accountable.
23. You don't have to like or be friends with everyone. But honor and respect them, and see them as a child of God.
24. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
25. There is a purpose to all trials, obstacles, hurts, and sadness. God can bring goodness out of it all.
26. Acknowledge that we only see a portion of the timeline and picture. God sees and knows it all. His timing is often not our timing.
27. God will never leave you or forsake you. He will see you through it all.

Almighty

Current favorite worship song...."Almighty" by Chris Tomlin.
We sang it last week in church.

"Almighty,  we're standing in the presence of your majesty,

You're holy, you alone the sovereign crown of royalty

You're the King of kings, Almighty!"

An Everlasting Love

I recently went on family vacation to Outerbanks, NC. I absolutely love the beach. There is something about the ocean, the sand, the sun, and more that makes it such a beautiful place to be. Being in beautiful nature and creation always makes me feel like I am in the presence of God. It's an overwhelming peaceful feeling that washes over me.

One of my favorite times of the day is in that late afternoon hour going on into the early evening. The majority of all the beach-goers have left the beach and gone up to their homes for dinner and evening activities. The brutal intensity of the sun and heat has passed and rests on your back shoulders. I love to just stare at the ocean, close my eyes, listen to the constant sound of the crashing waves, feel the light breeze on my skin and sand in my toes, with the smell of beach all around. It's in those gentle, quiet times that the Lord whispers...."I am with you."

I was reflecting on this passage from a couple weeks ago.

"The Lord said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” 1 Kings 19:11-13

We often look for this loud, beaming sign from God to give us an answer to our questions, what next step we are supposed to take in life, or a way out of our storm or heartache. But He never promised to speak to us in those loud, obvious ways. Not in the powerful wind, the shaking earthquakes, or the blazing fires. He often speaks to us in that gentle whisper. Why a whisper? He wants us to lean in close to Him and draw near to Him so that we can hear Him when He speaks. And when you do hear that gentle whisper, that overwhelming peaceful feeling of being in God's presence is almost indescribable.

I remember when I was out in the ocean swimming with my 15 month old nephew. I was looking at how tiny he looked in comparison to the vast ocean that laid before him.

Then, as I gazed upon the ocean, God whispered to me "As far as the ocean is never-ending and vast, so is my love for you." Wow, just wow. I was speechless....and wrapped in His love.

"Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep." Psalm 36:5-6

How to Fight Depression

I recently wrote a blog post on how to relate to someone going through depression. If you have a friend or family member or someone close that you love going through depression and you don't know how to help them, read this post and it may give you some ideas.

However, if YOU are the one going through the depression, I would like to share with you some ways that have helped me endure it. I would say I have probably been suffering from chronic depression a majority of my life, with long periods of it on and off starting all the way back in 6th or 7th grade. It can be seriously emotionally, physically, and spiritually debilitating. Depression is not just having a bad day or bad week; it's a deep seated feeling of hopelessness and despair that you just can't shake no matter what is going on in your life. It's a sense that you are in this black hole that you will never get out of and there will be no relief. If it wasn't for my faith and my relationship with Christ, I don't think I would be here today and the depression would have conquered me. But, thanks to the redeeming love of my Savior, here I stand, still here, still fighting, one day at a time.

Here are a few things that I do that really help me when dealing with my depression, and maybe they will help you too.

Forever

My favorite worship song right now!

One Thing Remains

Just discovered this artist this week. Very talented. :)

Walking Through the Shadows Together

Those who don't know me very well, see my life on the surface and think I have it all together and that I have everything going for me. Those who do know me well, know I struggle with depression greatly, and have done so for a vast majority of my life. I'm not ashamed to say it or confess it. It's a common struggle that many people deal with, but it can be so debilitating at times. Just because I am a Christian, doesn't mean my life is perfect or easy. BUT, it does mean that I have great Hope found in my Savior, Jesus Christ, who has overcome the world and can overcome my depression. He promises to be with me through it all, to never leave me nor forsake me. I stumbled across a blog series this month on depression by a Christian author and thought it might encourage others as it has me. It was posted on Alyssa Joy's blog, the wife of Jefferson Bethke (who is known for his spoken word and his book Jesus > Religion).

Alyssa's Blog: http://alyssajoy.me/journal/hope-in-the-darkness/?tp=1126

My Baptism

So on February 2, 2014, I was baptized at Waters Edge Church! I was baptized as an infant in the United Methodist Church but felt called to be baptized as an adult after hearing Pastor Stu preach on it so many times in accordance with the scriptures. Fear held me back for so many years, and I was afraid of what others might think. I love and respect the tradition in which I was raised, but do fully believe now that baptism is meant to occur after one becomes saved. Although I have been saved for many many years now, this is an act of obedience I have put off for far too long. There are not enough words to express how much WEC and the people there have changed my life, and how much Jesus Christ has transformed me! Thank you to everyone who came to support me (Mom, Dad, Gerry, Gloria, Alicia, Noelle, Michael, Brian, Casey, Bridget, Ryan, Melissa, and David) - it meant so much!

You may recognize someone at 0:45 in the video. ;)

God is Light

Broken Praise

It doesn't matter how much pain, confusion, hurt, or sadness exist in my life, "just give me one more breath to say Hallelujah." He is Lord. He is the reason why I live.

One of my really good friends shared this song with me, and it's just beautiful.