These are a few of my Favorite Things

These are a few of my favorite things this 2011 Christmas season...

1. The Production Volunteer Team at my church (WEC Yorktown)
2. Christmas Eve Service at Waters Edge
3. Christmas Carols - my favorite is "O Holy Night"
   
   
4. Christmas lights - especially houses that sync their lights to carols
   
   
5. My Family
6. Giving Gifts
7. Surprising People
   

Lord, Liar, or Lunatic?

This was Rick Warren's Daily Hope devotional from December 4th...I loved it so much, I am reposting it here. Source: http://purposedriven.com

“Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.’” (John 14:6 NLT)

Truth is not a principle. Truth is a person: Jesus Christ.

Psalm 139

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 139...

You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Our God is Able

One of my recent favorite worship songs that we learned at my church.

Satan is a Liar

You may be thinking to yourself...there is no coming back from this. I have come too far. There is no greater sin than mine. I have reached a point of no return. No one will ever accept me now. No one could ever love me like this. I know I find myself thinking that a lot.

But I have news for you. SATAN IS A LIAR. Those are all lies.

The TRUTH is THIS...

The Psalms

Well, I am over halfway done with my 90 Day Bible Reading Plan and it is going great! Especially now that I am in the Psalms! What a great relief and uplifting book of encouragement and praise right in the very middle of the Bible. Here are some of my favorite Psalms.

My Grammy

My Thanksgiving was spent in Stroudsburg, PA with my relatives. Both of my parents were born and raised in this small, beautiful, simple town set in the Pocono Mountains. One of the things I love the most about my visits to Stroudsburg is spending time with my Grammy, my mom's mom. She is a sweet, short 93 year-old Italian lady that is the most positive, sweetest human being I have ever met. She is a woman of faith, love, and peace. I admire everything about her. This verse comes to mind every time I think of her...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Galatians 5:22-23

His Promises are True

I have lost a number of people close to me this year - not in death, but in love or in friendship. Each one has affected me and hurt me deeply. But through each one, the Lord is teaching me more and more dependence on Him. He promises to never leave my side, even through my loneliness and despair. Even when I feel friendless, Jesus promises to be a friend in need. Even when people and relationships let me down, my Lord promises to always come through for me. I would be nowhere without the Lord. I would be nothing. No matter what life may bring my way, no matter what I may lose in the process, Lord, I will lift my eyes to You and You only.

"Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always"

90 Days!!

What was I thinking?! 90 Days!?!

At the beginning of October, I bought my first smart phone. Yay! The first apps I added were Words with Friends, Angry Birds, YouVersion Bible, and CNN. The first two obviously are just really fun games, but the last two are my two most useful applications I have on my phone and they make my smart phone definitely worth the extra $30 for the data plan. This year, I had fallen away from consistent reading of the Bible. I mean, my Bible sits right next to my bed, but at night I was more likely found watching Netflix and watching an episode of Prison Break or Modern Family instead of picking up my Bible to read God's Word. Not a good sign. It's not that Netflix is wrong, but I definitely wasn't making the Word a priority in my life like I should have. I just needed something to motivate me to get back into the scriptures.

Enter YouVersion Bible app.

There is LIBERTY!

One of my favorite artists of all time is Shane & Shane. They just recently released their latest CD called "The One You Need" and my favorite song off the CD is called "Liberty." I listen to it when I wake up in the morning and it gets me pumped up for the day! Check it out:

"The Lord is the Spirit
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, now
There is liberty
And the Spirit lives inside of me
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, now
There is liberty, there is liberty,
There is liberty

For freedom You set me free
And yes, I am free indeed
You rewrote my name
And shackled my shame
You opened my eyes to see
I am free"

My Own Worst Enemy

I bought the newest Casting Crowns CD "Come to the Well" the day it was released a week and half ago. My favorite song from the entire CD is called "My Own Worst Enemy". Check it out...

You Lift Me Up

I went to a concert yesterday in Greensboro, NC with a friend, my brother and his wife and we got to see Laura McCaul, The Afters, Sanctus Real (as opening acts) and then my 3rd favorite Christian band CASTING CROWNS as the headliner! It was fantastic! What I love about Christian concerts is that the bands aren't there to just perform for you and you sit back and expect to be entertained. At a Christian concert, things are different. The entire crowd interacts the the bands by using their music as worship to the Lord! It's like one big church service where everyone is praising the Lord in song and lifting their arms and eyes to the Heavens.

Embrace Change

Life is a series of changes, transitions, decisions, actions, behaviors, and more. It's a journey. Do you embrace the journey or do you fight it every step of the way?

My Favorites

I like having lists, and I like knowing what I like. haha. Here are some fun lists for you.

My Top 5 Favorite Movies: (click here for a full list)

1. Shawshank Redemption
2. Book of Eli
3. Slumdog Millionaire
4. Happy Feet
5. Inception

These are the Words I Would Say

Money Money Money!

Get situated....this is going to be a long one....

Money....it's a sensitive topic for some, an important topic for some, it can influence your life greatly, it can rule your life, and it can destroy your life. So what's the deal with money?

It's the Small Things that Count

When life gets stressful or the big things in life start to fall apart or seem to go wrong, sometimes you have to look for joy and goodness in the small things. God brings joy to me through small things such as these...

1. my chicken nugget was in the shape of a heart last week
2. CHIPOTLE Fridays - going to Chipotle with my coworkers every friday
3. the beauty and intricacy in detail seen when watching a spider make its web
4. a gorgeous sunset on the sound in Outerbanks, NC
5. a friend making me a CD of Christian worship music
6. receiving a post card or piece of snail mail from a long-distance friend
7. getting rid of clothes in my closet to donate to someone else who may need it
8. hope and innocence seen in a infant's eyes
9. seeing WEC magnets on cars all around town
10. creating photo albums of all my trips and adventures
11. camping under the moonlight in OBX with no electricity/technology around
12. when song lyrics match up with a sermon message all in the same week

I am Washed by the Water

"Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water"

So let YOUR name be lifted higher!

God by Wind

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

John 3:8

(The following pictures were taken by me in Corolla, OBX, NC in September 2011).

The Power of Prayer

Today was a really rough day emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I was extremely depressed and sad and spent most of my morning crying. However, my day was changed dramatically by THE POWER OF PRAYER.

Why Does God Allow Evil?

The following post is written by Pastor Rick Warren* and published in his Daily Hope devotional. It's quite applicable for today - the 10 year anniversary of the tragedy that took place on 9/11.

This is the crisis we're in: God's light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness ... because they were not really interested in pleasing God. John 3:19 (Msg)

The horrific mass murder of innocent Americans on 9/11 left all rational people shocked, angry, grief-stricken and numb. Our tears flowed freely and our hearts carried a deep ache.

With pain is so heartfelt and so personal, it’s only natural to ask, Why does God allow such evil to happen? If God is so great and so good, why does he allow human beings to hurt each other?

The answer lies in what is both our greatest blessing and our worst curse: our capacity to make choices. God has given us a free will. Made in God's image, he has given us the freedom to decide how we will act and the ability to make moral choices.

I Miss You

Lady in Waiting

So my college roommate Melissa Reese gave me this book she owned called Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right by Jackie Kendall & Debby Jones. I started reading it a few weeks ago and it's great! It uses the story of Ruth in the Bible to focus on attributes that a single woman should desire and strive for. It helps you focus on becoming a better you, instead of desperately focusing on the traits you hope to find in "Mr. Right." It describes a lady in waiting with the following poem which I love....

Here I Am

"I lay myself at Your feet
Asking You won't You meet
Won't You meet me
I cannot do it on my own
I cannot do it all alone
Here I am, oh, tonight
With my arms open wide
Won't You come inside
Won't You come inside, God
Come and fill this heart of mine
I'm in need of You
Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love
I need You
I need You"

People Always Leave

An excerpt from Pastor Stu's sermon on Sunday that really hit home to me....

"Your destiny, God's purpose and plan for your life is not wrapped up in the people in your life who abandon you and walk away from you and distance themselves from you and give up on you. God's plan is not wrapped up in any one person or any groups of people who will leave you. Does God use people in our lives? Absolutely. Does God work through other people in our lives? 100%. Does God want you to have people in your lives? Without a doubt. But what God has in store for you is never wrapped up or contingent upon what somebody else will do who will leave you. If someone wants to walk away from you, bid them farewell. Wish them well and you keep on pressing on!"

The Glory of God

OBX Sunset August 24, 2011


¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
⁵ It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
⁶ It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is deprived of its warmth."
~Psalm 19:1-6~

Missing or Losing Someone

Just a few days ago in my last blog post, I mentioned how I like to have a blog because I can go back through old posts and see how the Lord guided me through a specific time in my life. So, over the last few days, I reread through a number of my blogs from the summer of 2009 right after I graduated from college. This was a very rough time in my life and I had just lost a relationship very dear to me. So, I wanted to go back and see how the Lord stepped me through that time in my life as I sit here thinking about someone I love and had to let go. If you have gone through the loss of a loved one or are missing someone dearly, check out this blog post of mine from 2 years ago.

"When You Lose Someone"

Lamentations 3:1-25

¹ I am the one who has seen the afflictions
that come from the rod of the Lord’s anger.
² He has led me into darkness,
shutting out all light.
³ He has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.

⁴ He has made my skin and flesh grow old.
He has broken my bones.
⁵ He has besieged and surrounded me
with anguish and distress.
⁶ He has buried me in a dark place,
like those long dead.

Transparency

I have had a few people talk to me about my blog recently or they have approached me personally and said "Wow, you are so honest and up-front about what you are going through in your life." Some have questioned why I put personal information on my blog about my struggle with depression, etc. The answer to all the critiques and questions is TRANSPARENCY. I believe in being transparent in my life with others. What does this mean?

One in a Million

FINALLY finished my book, One in a Million, by Priscilla Shirer, and once again, it was life-changing! The Lord truly used that book to guide me spiritually through my personal wilderness over these last 2 years. The book follows along the Exodus of the Israelites out of Egypt and that is one of my favorite stories in the Bible! Here are some great excerpts from the book that I thought revealed powerful Truths:

You Make Beautiful Things

Often times, I find that I don't have the words to describe how I'm feeling. That's when the Lord places a song on my heart that has lyrics that express the deep feelings in my heart and soul. As you can see, I have been wordless these last few weeks....but I have been carried by one worship song to the next. The Lord is good and He knows what is on my heart and mind...

A good friend shared this song with me recently...

"All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new"

Mercies in Disguise

"Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise"

This song gives me hope. It reminds me that even when my heart is aching, when sadness and loneliness and grief overwhelm me, the Lord has a plan for me and there is a purpose in it all. Often during my trials and struggles and endless sleepless nights, I ask "why?" I wonder why I have to go through all of this to get through to the other side. This song reminds me that these trials can be the Lord's blessings and new mercies in disguise.

I'm Giving in to Something Heavenly

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...

Take this Sinking Boat and Point it Home

This song makes me want to cry, but it's so good.

"Falling slowly
Eyes that know me
and I can't go back,
Wounds that take me
and erase me
and I'm painted black.
Well you have suffered enough
and warred with yourself
it's time that you've won"

While I'm Waiting

Babies are Everywhere! Part 2

So, a few months back, I wrote a blog called "Babies are Everywhere!" You can read it by clicking on the name in quotes. Of course, 4 months later, the situation is still the same...BABIES ARE EVERYWHERE! :)

Even on the worst of days or the most depressing of days, it's practically impossible for me not be happy around babies. They are so precious. New life.... new hope.... innocence.... tenderness.... love.... and so many things come to mind when I think of babies. It's the miracle of new life that God blesses us with that leaves me in awe. Seeing a baby gives me so much happiness and joy. I have had this deep desire in myself since I can remember to have a family of my own and children of my own. Call it a motherly instinct or something, but I think God has placed that desire in me and I hope He will bless me with a family of my own someday. In the meantime, I am completely satisfied watching all my friends around me have their babies. My good friend Sandi just had her baby boy on Thursday and I am so happy for her and Andre. They are already fantastic parents to their 2 year old daughter Luciana and now they are going to share their love and Christ's love with another precious treasure, Teo James. Below is a picture of me holding Teo on his 2nd day of life! Congratulations Sandi and Andre!!!

My Soul Longs For You

I remember when my best friend first introduced me to Misty Edwards 3 years ago, and she instantly became one of my favorite Christian artists. There is just something about her songs, her lyrics, her passion, and her voice that invigorate me and energize me with a fire for the Lord.

Truth

So, I just signed up for the "Daily Hope with Rick Warren" last week. It basically sends you a short one page email devotional every morning from Rick Warren who is the famous Pastor from Saddleback Church in California and the author of the well known book The Purpose Driven Life. I knew that as I went through this change in lifestyle after breaking free from my stronghold, that I needed to fill my emptiness in my heart and soul with more of The Word and with more prayer. Both have improved greatly over the last week! I think it is very important to read The Word directly from the Bible, but I also really like to hear what different Christian writers and Pastors have to say about it too. It's been amazing the way God has spoken to me every day this past week. Every single devotional from Rick Warren has been so relevant to something going on in my life and have spoken on topics and issues that I really needed to hear about. The devotional for today was titled "Principles for Personal Change: Truth" and here is a great excerpt from it that really hit home for me:

Deliverance

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
Psalm 18:2

Deliverance. I have always known what the word meant. I mean, I grew up in the church my entire life, so the idea of deliverance was a familiar one to me. I knew the definition. But had I ever truly experienced it? On a conceptual basis, I of course believe that I am delivered from my sins daily through the blood of Christ. But I have never felt any grandeur experience with deliverance...until last week.

My Favorite Movies

We just finished our second "At the Movies" sermon series led by Rob Shepherd at Waters Edge Church. It got me thinking about my favorite movies. I actually keep an updated list of my favorite movies on my laptop...is that nerdy? I don't know...who cares! Here it is!

Painful Story of Love

Disclaimer: I did not write this. I came across this story through a friend of a friend on August 5, 2009 and it is one of my favorite pieces I have ever read.

"I will tell you a story now, and hope you will understand its beauty and significance someday, though the words may haunt you in your darkest hours.

Your Love Never Fails

New favorite worship song - "Your Love Never Fails" by Jesus Culture. I just discovered it at WEC's Thursday night Production rehearsal and have the privilege of worshiping to it 5x today with my church family at Waters Edge Church! The lyrics just hit home.

"You stay the same through the ages, Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning."

WEC

Even when life gets tough, when my burdens feel too heavy to carry, and I feel deep sadness...it's good to keep in mind I am blessed with things everyday from God. I left work today extremely upset and sad with what's going on in my personal life, that I thought to myself, "there has to be something good in your life and something you can thank God for right now. what makes you happy, Lauren?" This is the first thing that came to mind...

I Wish I Was Numb

I wish I was numb to it all. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel. Anything. Because for the last two years, the main feeling I have felt is not a positive feeling. It's a feeling of such darkness and pain that most days I don't even feel like I recognize myself anymore. Most days I don't even feel like getting out of bed, going to work, having to talk to people, or anything for that matter. Most people that I have talked to say that I have endured this situation way past and much longer than any normal person would. Why do I keep enduring? Why do I keep going?

Dear Heart

"Dear Heart, do you belong to me, or do I belong to you?
Just look at all the trouble you drag me into.
I've heard it said to follow your heart,
But I'm starting to wonder if it's gone too far.

When I'm In Your Arms

"Everything I see
Is so temporary
So help me to run the race before me
With eternity in sight"

Kings Dominion Review

I went to Kings Dominion today with my coworker Roxy! It was a lot of fun, not too hot, and we got on ALL the major rides which was lucky for a busy Saturday in the summer. Here are my ratings for their major rides:

1 = waste of time
2 = boring, nothing special about it
3 = decent ride, but wouldn't ride twice in 1 visit
4 = great ride, worth a wait
5 = fantastic experience, thrilling, intense, and a MUST ride

Death

Depressing blog topic, eh? Well, going to 2 funerals within 1 week has got me thinking about death a lot, so what can I say? These last two people who have died have both been great people. People who were known for their kindness and love and compassion. Does that make it any better on their loved ones to let go? Not always. Or is it their faith in God that makes it easy to let go? That definitely helps, but it's still a painful process to imagine life without them in it. If the person was saved and believed in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, then its comforting to know they will spend eternity with their Heavenly Father. But what do you say to the loved ones of the person who died if they were not a believer and never knew Christ? That must be a hard situation to handle.

These are the Words I Would Say

The Hunger Games

Well, when I was in college, all I read for 4 years were religious studies textbooks and endless articles for class. I never had any time for recreational reading. Reading is definitely not my favorite passtime. I enjoy watching a movie far more than reading a book. But, since I graduated college in May 2009, I have tried reading recreationally. By recreationally, I don't mean fiction or drama or romance novels. Basically all I read are Christian books that have some type of topic that will add to my spiritual life or encourage me spiritually or help me deal with a struggle in my faith walk. There is nothing wrong with books of all those other genres. I just know that I read very little, and when I do read, I want it to add something to my life.

Lost in the Thoughts in my Mind

It's impossible to describe the feeling
Words are inadequate and fail
To be living in this world, but not of this world
The feeling of being locked in a jail.

Every single day is an opportunity,
every day an obstacle.
To sacrifice one's wants and desires,
for the wants and desires of the One.

To stay focused on the Light,
when all you feel is darkness all around.
To retreat into your mind,
in hopes of finding solitude and peace,
but all you find is loneliness and despair.

The Wilderness

This is an excerpt from Priscilla Shirer's book One in a Million that I read this morning. It definitely hit home for me because I feel like I have been living in a spiritual and emotional wilderness for about 2 years.

"It's awfully easy to get disillusioned with God out here in the wilderness. It's easy to thing He's forgotten you, doesn't care about you, doesn't love you. It's easy to start asking why your best isn't good enough to earn you at least a little bit of relief fromthis constant upset and turmoil, from choking dryness and dustiness.

But listen, you don't have to figure out the wilderness. You don't have to fix the wilderness. You don't have to be able to explain to your church friends why you're going through the wilderness. Your job as a much loved, highly treasured child of God is simply to yield to the wilderness because it's often only in the wilderness where our runaway desires can finally be boiled down to this: 'One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in teh house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple" (Psalm 27:4).

The wilderness is God's way of making us want the only thing that's really worth having.

The wilderness, my friend, is worth it."

Something to Believe In

"You say, ‘keep my head from going down’
Just for a little, just for a little
Watch my feet float off the ground
Just for a little, just for a little
A little love if you can hear this sound
Oh just give me something
Something to believe in."

I Always Want a Pepsi

Persevere....in ALL areas of life.

It's been about 4 months since I joined a gym (Planet Fitness) and started going 3x a week. I knew that when I started, I HAD to stay committed to it, especially at the beginning so I could make it a habit and make it a regular part of my life schedule. I said to myself, the 3 month mark and the 6 month mark would be important milestones to keep. I am right in between those two milestones. I passed the 3 month mark fine, and now I'm at a crossroads.

Here's the thing. The first 3 months were kinda miserable going to the gym. Everyone who knows me knows that I hate going to the gym, and that I would much rather play sports everyday of my life for my physical fitness activity. I would love to play softball, tennis, raquetball, basketball, volleyball....anything....ANY SPORT! Last time I tried to make the gym a regular part of my life was back in my 1st year at UVA. Yeah, that lasted about a......month - if that. These first three months at Planet Fitness were hard, because I had to convince myself to go even though I did not want to. I had to learn certain exercises from scratch, my muscles ached for days after my workouts because some of them had never been used before like that, it caused me to get home late after work, it made me miss many different social activities with my friends, etc. I didn't feel like I was making progress at all. One good thing I did was find an accountability partner, a gym buddy, who went with me pretty regularly 3x a week. That was a great decision and really helped me get through those first 3 months.

I'll Be Found in You

One of my friends from my Community Group recently shared with me this song by Brooke Fraser called Shadowfeet. I love it. There are so many points in my life where I have hit rock bottom. Those phases in my life are normally characterized by serious depression. It usually comes and passes with time. I have felt like I have been at rock bottom for the last two years.

Everyone wants that "personal touch"

So I was at a Board Meeting for Orphan Helpers last Saturday, and one of the group discussions was how we can reach out to donors and give them that "special touch." You know...the phone call, email, handwritten letter, small gift....to show we care for them and appreciate their support of our ministry. As Communications Manager, this is my field and my responsibility. Not only do I send out the mass direct mail and emails to all our donors, but I'm in charge of the personal touches as well. I do this at work, but not enough. It's something I can improve on.

It got me to thinking outside of the work domain. How about my personal relationships?

He Lives!

Another classic, another favorite of mine...it's been a song in my heart all week.

Nicole C. Mullen - "My Redeemer Lives"

Check out the song and video here: http://youtu.be/tpCaNBhK4S0

Top 5 Favorite Christian Worship Songs

So, for those of you who know me, you know how much I love Christian worship music. My passion in life is worship! I find singing my heart and soul out to my God is the best way to commune with Him and I feel so connected to God and loved by Him when I do. It's also the best way for me to praise Him for all that He does for me - for loving me unconditionally, for forgiving me time and time again, and for blessing me with the opportunity to serve Him day in and day out by loving people as Christ loves me. This week, I have heard some oldies, but GREAT Christian worship songs that came out years ago, but still touch my heart when I hear them. So, I wanted to challenge myself and share with you all my 5 favorite Christian worship songs. It's really hard to choose just 5, but I have given you 1 song from each of my 5 favorite Christian artists/bands.

One in a Million

I'm excited to get my next book in the mail this week so I can start reading it...

Dust Yourself Off and Try Again

Each day comes with its own new challenges, obstacles, opportunities, and gifts. Each day comes with its own set of decisions that we are faced with. Among all the good decisions I try to make each day, without a doubt, I make a mistake. Or a wrong decision. Being a natural pessimist, it is really hard for me to find the optimistic side to life. The pessimistic thoughts always enter into my mind first. But after finishing my book Battlefield of the Mind, it has really made me more aware of my thoughts and words and actions. It has challenged me to really seek out the optimistic side of life and to see the good in every situation. It's a work in progress though. I didn't finish the book and just wake up the next day and was a natural optimist. A lot of people I talk to say it is so much easier for them to think positively. I wish that was me, but it's not. But I can choose everyday to wake up and to make an asserted effort to be positive and to be an encouragement and Christ-like person to everyone I encounter that day. Though I can choose to do this, ultimately, that opportunity of each brand new day is given freely to me through the grace of my Lord. I can fail, make mistakes, sin, and make wrong decisions everyday. It's quite disappointing and upsetting when I do. But I know I can praise God and thank God whole-heartedly that He gives me another day to make things right. God gives me another chance each morning to live for Him. I am so thankful for that chance. So, each day, my slate is washed clean, and I set out in my day to show love and give love, to forgive, to encourage, and to set an example for others. I desire greatly to be seen as a disciple of Christ with a servant-like heart. I want to be known as an encourager, someone who builds others up, someone who loves people unconditionally. That's who I want to be. And that's who I will strive to be everyday of my life. If I fall down and fail one day, I am given a brand new day every morning to dust myself off and try again. Thank you Lord for that amazing opportunity!

Babies are Everywhere!

No, i'm not joking....everywhere I turn, there is a baby. My best friend just had a baby in December. Two girls on my softball team are pregnant. One girl on my softball team just had a baby in the last 6 months. My co-worker's wife is pregnant. I log-in to facebook and my news feed is exploding with congratulations and baby pictures. Two Chi Alpa alumnis had their babies this week. And another UVA alumni friend had her baby in the last 6 months too. A girl in my Community Group is pregnant too. Then, all day today, I have been watching facebook because my associate pastor at WEC - his wife is having twins - today! Seriously, they are everywhere!!!

What a joy it is to have new life at every place I turn everyday! I love babies! I love looking at them and playing with them, and I love watching mothers interact with their babies. There is such a sense of deep, unconditional love that you see in their eyes. They would lay down their life for their child, do anything for them to keep them from harm. That love is beautiful to witness. Then watching the baby itself, he/she is bursting with life! They are so curious and want to grab and look at everything and anything you place before them. Such innocence and purity in their actions and in their eyes. I just love it. I hope that one day God blesses me with one, two, or three children of my own....or however many are in His plan. But until then, it gives me great joy to be a part of the lives of so many people who are experiencing the miracle of life!

Battlefield of the Mind

I just finished reading Joyce Meyer's book called Battlefield of the Mind. It was very good and I recommend it to anyone who is struggling with the stronghold of negative or unhealthy thought patterns in their life. Here are some key statements and scriptures from the book that resonated with me and that I am using in my battle to tear down my stronghold of negativity and depression:

I Don't Have Time to Maintain These Regrets!

Tear Down the Lies, Build up the Truth

It is really hard to break strongholds and ways of thinking in your life when they have been rampant and infiltrated in your way of living for so long. After today's events, it's easy for me to see a blaring message that continues to get confirmed and re-confirmed, I have a huge fear of ABANDONMENT by friends. I feel like they don't care, like they think i'm not worthy to be in their lives, or that i'm not worthy to fight for and put that extra effort in for our friendship to work. They could be lies, they could be the truth, who knows. But I know its not a positive way of thinking, and one of my goals of 2011, is to tear down my pessimistic, depressive thoughts, and replace them with a positive way of thinking. I want to see me as God sees me, not as my friends see me.

This week, I just recently rediscovered an artist that I really like named Coffey Anderson. His song, "All Ye," is one of my favorite songs by him and it has really lifted my spirits this week and reminded me to cast all my worries, burdens, and bad thoughts on Christ. It's a constant thing I have to work on in my relationship with Christ - to let him take control, instead of me - but then again, that's what relationships are all about, working on them so you can grow closer in truth and love.



Other Versions of the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM-yHPGCgEw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt0uEz7-oH4

Scriptures Speak to my Soul

You know when you haven't read the Bible in awhile, and you feel your heart become less sensitive and aware of God speaking to you. You feel bad because you try to stay disciplined in reading the Bible consistently every day. If you want to get closer to a person in a relationship or friendship, you have to work at it, through communication and learning about who they are in their heart. In the same way, in order to get closer to God, we must go to the source of who God is. For me, the best place to look for the Truth about who God is and what His heart desires is in the Word. And what amazes me most is how in awe and captivated I become with scripture again. Recently, most of the scripture I have been reading has been coming out of my current book, "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. It's a great book and is really helping me focus on a huge struggle and stronghold in my life, my thoughts and my mind. But it is important to go beyond Christian books, and read scripture directly from its source, The Bible. I love how no matter where I am in life, scripture transforms and speaks to me in new ways, and always finds a way to speak into my heart. Here are some of my recent favorite scriptures:

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13~

"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he" ~Proverbs 23:7~

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." ~Isaiah 43:2-3~

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." ~2 Corinthians 10:5~

Take Captive Every Thought

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30)

Consider these four areas we are called to commit to God:
heart, soul, mind and strength.
Which is your strongest? Which is your weakest?

For me, my mind is my weakest.

I just finished Beth Moore's book called Breaking Free. It took me a little while to get into it, but the book really spoke to me at the end with chapters 40-42, where she discussed how to tear down our strongholds with the reprogramming of our minds. She broke it down into a five-step process: (1) Recognize the captor. (2) Stand in agreement with God. (3) Tear down the lies. (4) Put up the Truth. (5) Bow thought to the Truth. I love how she goes from step to step describing how we can apply them to our lives.

Dealing with strongholds in my life become difficult because I can never complete all 5 steps. I can normally recognize the captor pretty easily, I then choose to stand in agreement with God, but when it comes to #3. Tear down the lies, I struggle. Satan is a powerful deceiver and loves to manipulate our minds. He knows just how to plant lies and small thoughts in our heads to make them grow to a size that becomes unmanageable or uncontrollable. Soon those negative thoughts become obsessive and seem so overpowering. Beth Moore discusses that you can never break down your stronghold if you don't break down the lies that go along with it. She says it doesn't stop there. Once you have torn down those lies, it is very important to fill in its place positive thoughts and the Truth.

That's where I am right now in my life. Step 3: tearing down the lies in my mind. I have thoughts in my head that have been brewing for close to 20 months by now, and its time to tear them down and replace them with the Truth. It's been a long journey and struggle in the past, and I expect it to be a long process in the future, but I believe and hold fast that even when the world and people turn their back, God never will. Even when I grow weary, He never will. As Beth Moore stated, "He [God] is our inexhaustible well of living water."

One of my all-time favorite verses in the Bible is this: 2 Corinthians 10:5.
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

So here's to thinking positively, replacing lies with the Truth, to a year of progress. Cheers 2011!