Sometimes, often, I doubt and feel insecure about where I am in my life. It's the comparison trap. Most all of my close friends are married, with children, something that I long and desire for. We all have dreams and expectations for our lives, on this sort of timeline. We, and the world for that matter, expects us to be in college by a certain age, married by a certain age, children, at a certain place in your career, etc. It may be unspoken, but it is always implied. Those expectations are put on us not just be the world we live in or our society, but we even put that pressure on ourselves. Why? Why do we do that to ourselves?
Life doesn't always turn out how we expect it to. Actually, more times than not, it doesn't. But I don't mean that in a depressing, hopeless way. It's all a matter of perspective. I'm 28 years old, living on my own as a single woman. I have a wonderful job, but I'm single. No husband. No children. Yes, that's something I think about all the time, or I wouldn't be writing about it in my blog. But how do I flip the switch on my perspective on that?
When I find myself getting caught up in the expectations of my timeline, I stop. Pause, pray, breathe. I know deep down that my timeline is not God's timeline. I know that His ways are greater than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). I trust that He knows what He is doing. I trust that God has my best in mind. He will provide and take care of me. He is working things behind the scenes that I cannot see.
Yes, I believe God can work all things for good (Romans 8:28). So, being single without a family to care for has given me the time and capacity to be there for my friends and family in more ways than I would otherwise be able to. Being present for people when they lose loved ones, providing support when friends have babies, helping people move, mentoring and discipling people, etc. This year alone, God has opened two new doors for me that I have the time to be able to commit to. First, I started a Christian budgeting group that allows me to share my budgeting tips and counsel to fellow Christians seeking to honor God with their money. I've met with a ton of individuals one-on-one to go over budgeting principles and share with them a passion and skill that I believe God has given me. Secondly, I started one-on-one Bible studies with friends from church, and it has just recently grown to a small group women's Bible study that I will be hosting and leading starting next week. These are opportunities that I will not take for granted, and I will give thanks to God that I am single and have this extra time to devote to these things. In addition to extra investment I have been able to give to friends and family, it has also opened new doors and opportunities for leadership within my own church. This one is still in the works, but I see God's presence and potential in it all, and I can't wait to see where He will lead me next.
