Where Are You Now?

Where are you now? In your life....are you where you want to be? Personally...spiritually....emotionally.....relationally....in your career?

Sometimes, often, I doubt and feel insecure about where I am in my life. It's the comparison trap. Most all of my close friends are married, with children, something that I long and desire for. We all have dreams and expectations for our lives, on this sort of timeline. We, and the world for that matter, expects us to be in college by a certain age, married by a certain age, children, at a certain place in your career, etc. It may be unspoken, but it is always implied. Those expectations are put on us not just be the world we live in or our society, but we even put that pressure on ourselves. Why? Why do we do that to ourselves?

Life doesn't always turn out how we expect it to. Actually, more times than not, it doesn't. But I don't mean that in a depressing, hopeless way. It's all a matter of perspective. I'm 28 years old, living on my own as a single woman. I have a wonderful job, but I'm single. No husband. No children. Yes, that's something I think about all the time, or I wouldn't be writing about it in my blog. But how do I flip the switch on my perspective on that?

When I find myself getting caught up in the expectations of my timeline, I stop. Pause, pray, breathe. I know deep down that my timeline is not God's timeline. I know that His ways are greater than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). I trust that He knows what He is doing. I trust that God has my best in mind. He will provide and take care of me. He is working things behind the scenes that I cannot see.

Yes, I believe God can work all things for good (Romans 8:28). So, being single without a family to care for has given me the time and capacity to be there for my friends and family in more ways than I would otherwise be able to. Being present for people when they lose loved ones, providing support when friends have babies, helping people move, mentoring and discipling people, etc. This year alone, God has opened two new doors for me that I have the time to be able to commit to. First, I started a Christian budgeting group that allows me to share my budgeting tips and counsel to fellow Christians seeking to honor God with their money. I've met with a ton of individuals one-on-one to go over budgeting principles and share with them a passion and skill that I believe God has given me. Secondly, I started one-on-one Bible studies with friends from church, and it has just recently grown to a small group women's Bible study that I will be hosting and leading starting next week. These are opportunities that I will not take for granted, and I will give thanks to God that I am single and have this extra time to devote to these things. In addition to extra investment I have been able to give to friends and family, it has also opened new doors and opportunities for leadership within my own church. This one is still in the works, but I see God's presence and potential in it all, and I can't wait to see where He will lead me next.

So, it's our choice. We are where we are, in our lives. But we have the power to choose how we see it. The power of perspective is all ours. Will you see the closed doors, the obstacles, the setbacks...or will you choose to see the opportunities, the dreams, the potential? Where you are now may be purposeful - maybe there is something God is calling you to where you are right now, maybe He can use your current situation in a way that you haven't tapped into yet. Ask Him. Pray to God and ask Him how He wants to use you and where you are right now. Be willing to open your mind and open your heart to a new perspective.

Life and Death

This last month has been filled with a number of encounters of death and life. I have two friends from church who lost their grandmothers within days of each other. As I sat in a row in the back of the funeral home and watched my friend weep as she read a poem about her grandmother, I just wondered...what does death even mean? Why does it have to happen? It brings so much sadness and hurt to so many. I've never lost anyone close to me to death. I've lost people in my life, but not to death. Is perhaps the entire purpose of losing someone or something to show how you respond and react to that loss? If that's the ultimate test, I can say I feel like I'm failing my test. I've let my loss completely unravel me for years. But yet, not without faith. I still believe. I believe in God. I believe in His goodness. I believe He does have a greater plan beyond all the hurt and suffering of this world. It's why He died on a cross for us, so that we can have hope for tomorrow. There are many days I have felt hopeless, but with Jesus, you just keep pushing through it. Someway, somehow. You keep breathing and trying to wake up that next morning. So, what is the purpose of death? Of loss? Another friend of mine just lost her mother to Lou Gehrig's disease in the last week. Although I couldn't make the funeral, I watched a recording of it online. Listening to the testimony of the family and friends who loved her mother dearly, you could hear of the endless lives she touched and impacted. There were numerous people she showed Christ's love to, and as a result, their lives were forever changed. They now know the Lord themselves, or their faith and relationship with the Lord was deepened and strengthened. Maybe that's the purpose of loss right there. Many lives can be changed through just one. Maybe that could be the redeeming quality and goodness that God can bring out of death.

But then also this month, two of my close friends and my sister-in-law all had babies. As I held each of those three babies in my arms, I thought...although there is death in this world, there is also the miracle of life. The Lord both gives and takes away. Although death will inevitably come, He also blesses us and entrusts us to create and bring new life into this world, to continue the cycle, to raise up, and teach them of Christ's love too. The innocence and beauty of a newborn child is enough to revive new hope in me for a new day. With each new day, God grants us new mercies. I will forever hold on to that promise, for myself, and for all those experiencing great loss and hurt in their lives.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

My Baptism

So on February 2, 2014, I was baptized at Waters Edge Church! I was baptized as an infant in the United Methodist Church but felt called to be baptized as an adult after hearing Pastor Stu preach on it so many times in accordance with the scriptures. Fear held me back for so many years, and I was afraid of what others might think. I love and respect the tradition in which I was raised, but do fully believe now that baptism is meant to occur after one becomes saved. Although I have been saved for many many years now, this is an act of obedience I have put off for far too long. There are not enough words to express how much WEC and the people there have changed my life, and how much Jesus Christ has transformed me! Thank you to everyone who came to support me (Mom, Dad, Gerry, Gloria, Alicia, Noelle, Michael, Brian, Casey, Bridget, Ryan, Melissa, and David) - it meant so much!

You may recognize someone at 0:45 in the video. ;)

Breathe Death to Life

Passion 2013 is going on right now from January 1-4 in Atlanta. Passion Conferences are more than just conferences. Passion is a movement raising up college-aged kids across the nation to spread the fame of Jesus Christ around the globe. I was watching the first main session tonight live online here (http://livelink.268generation.com/). The passage that Louie Giglio used in his message was the story of the Valley of Dry Bones in Ezekiel 37, when God breathes life into the dry bones. As I enter into 2013, this is a great theme passage for my life. I believe in a God that can breathe life into death, breathe life into addictions, breathe life into brokenness, breath life into depression. I believe it, and I will declare it over my life in 2013.

Every Season

Right now, we are right in the middle of fall. Leaves are changing colors, and some have begun to fall to the ground. Soon, the trees will be bare, and temperatures will start to drop, and we may even see ice and snow. Winter will arrive soon. I love living in a Mid-Atlantic state where we get to experience all four seasons to their full capacity. With each season comes a new scenery and a new sense of beauty. But we can only experience each new season by going through a phase of change.

Who I Am

I am a woman, a child of God.

Before my parents even had me in the glimpse of their minds, my Heavenly Father had already formed me in His perfect image.

I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, who I declare is my Lord and Savior unashamedly.