Where are you now? In your life....are you where you want to be? Personally...spiritually....emotionally.....relationally....in your career?
Sometimes, often, I doubt and feel insecure about where I am in my life. It's the comparison trap. Most all of my close friends are married, with children, something that I long and desire for. We all have dreams and expectations for our lives, on this sort of timeline. We, and the world for that matter, expects us to be in college by a certain age, married by a certain age, children, at a certain place in your career, etc. It may be unspoken, but it is always implied. Those expectations are put on us not just be the world we live in or our society, but we even put that pressure on ourselves. Why? Why do we do that to ourselves?
Life doesn't always turn out how we expect it to. Actually, more times than not, it doesn't. But I don't mean that in a depressing, hopeless way. It's all a matter of perspective. I'm 28 years old, living on my own as a single woman. I have a wonderful job, but I'm single. No husband. No children. Yes, that's something I think about all the time, or I wouldn't be writing about it in my blog. But how do I flip the switch on my perspective on that?
When I find myself getting caught up in the expectations of my timeline, I stop. Pause, pray, breathe. I know deep down that my timeline is not God's timeline. I know that His ways are greater than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). I trust that He knows what He is doing. I trust that God has my best in mind. He will provide and take care of me. He is working things behind the scenes that I cannot see.
Yes, I believe God can work all things for good (Romans 8:28). So, being single without a family to care for has given me the time and capacity to be there for my friends and family in more ways than I would otherwise be able to. Being present for people when they lose loved ones, providing support when friends have babies, helping people move, mentoring and discipling people, etc. This year alone, God has opened two new doors for me that I have the time to be able to commit to. First, I started a Christian budgeting group that allows me to share my budgeting tips and counsel to fellow Christians seeking to honor God with their money. I've met with a ton of individuals one-on-one to go over budgeting principles and share with them a passion and skill that I believe God has given me. Secondly, I started one-on-one Bible studies with friends from church, and it has just recently grown to a small group women's Bible study that I will be hosting and leading starting next week. These are opportunities that I will not take for granted, and I will give thanks to God that I am single and have this extra time to devote to these things. In addition to extra investment I have been able to give to friends and family, it has also opened new doors and opportunities for leadership within my own church. This one is still in the works, but I see God's presence and potential in it all, and I can't wait to see where He will lead me next.
So, it's our choice. We are where we are, in our lives. But we have the power to choose how we see it. The power of perspective is all ours. Will you see the closed doors, the obstacles, the setbacks...or will you choose to see the opportunities, the dreams, the potential? Where you are now may be purposeful - maybe there is something God is calling you to where you are right now, maybe He can use your current situation in a way that you haven't tapped into yet. Ask Him. Pray to God and ask Him how He wants to use you and where you are right now. Be willing to open your mind and open your heart to a new perspective.
So, a few weeks ago, I went on a 4 day trip to Chicago to visit my best friend Camil.
Everytime I fly on a plane somewhere, I always make sure to reserve a window seat. I love being able to stare out the window and view all of God's beauty and creation while on my way to my destination. This past trip, when I was flying out of Newport News, the day was kinda crappy weather - gloomy, overcast, rainy. It's just one of those days where it's harder to roll out of bed and you drag yourself throughout your day. But I was amazed as I watched our plane gain altitude in the air, we went through this entire level of clouds. As a plane flies through clouds that are filled with rain, it always causes a little turbulence, but it's to be expected.
Then, right as we reached the top of the cloud line, we surfaced to a whole new world. It was no longer a rainy dreary day - the sky was blue, the sun was shining bright, and it was a beautiful day with a beautiful view! It's amazing how just going through those clouds completely changed my perspective from a dark gloomy one to a bright shining one.That made me think of life and how it's all about our perspective on things. Even if we are in a period of our life that is gloomy, dark, and dreary where it is hard to drag ourselves out of bed and get ourselves through the day, you have to think that just on the other side of those clouds is a day of bright, shining positive joy. It's all in how we view things, and how we think about things. (Phil 4:8) If I just focus on the rain and darkness that I am in now, I will stay in the rain and darkness. But if I focus on the fact that there is hope, opportunity, healing, and joy just through the clouds waiting for me, my whole day and life attitude will be different. It might not be easy to get to there, because there is still that thick layer of clouds to get through with turbulence to be expected, but at least you know that what is on the other side is something to look forward to. Be hopeful. Be faithful. Focus on the positive. See through the clouds to the brighter day.
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12
The following poem came out of the last book I read called Made for Goodness and Why This Makes All the Difference by Desmond Tutu and his daugther Mpho Tutu.
You are my child.
My beloved.
With you I am well pleased.
Stand beside me and see yourself.
Borrow my eyes so you can see perfectly.
When you look with my eyes then you will see
That the wrong you have done and the good left undone,
The words you have said that should not have been spoken,
The words you should have spoken but left unsaid,
The hurts you have caused,
The help you've not given
Are not the whole of the story of you.
You are not defined by what you did not achieve.
Your worth is not determined by success.
You were priceless before you drew your first breath,
Beautiful before dress or artifice,
Good at the core.
