"To Love at All is to be Vulnerable"

I spend a lot of time thinking about friendships and relationships....what they should be like, what I can do to be a better person and better friend, how to love people unconditionally, etc. It's just something I enjoy to think deeply about. It's hard to be in relationships or friendships after getting burned by people, or rejected, or abandoned. It's really hard to reopen your heart to others, to trust them again, or to even love them like you once loved before. But it's gotta be worth it, right? One of my favorite quotes about relationships and love is by Christian author, C.S. Lewis. He says:

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”


It's kinda ironic this juxtaposition within my heart. Almost all days, I desire to love, to be loved, to know people deeply. I have never been a person or a friend who is satisfied with just keeping relationships at the superficial level. I believe God calls us to be in relationships, and to love and serve people everyday. By relationships, I mean people who you can share life and faith with...people who are willing to help carry your burdens, but can also just kick back for a good laugh. I desire all those things. But at the same time, I find myself choosing to lock my heart up in a casket or coffin as Lewis describes above. I desire to be loved, but that requires having my heart open to love, and loving people myself. Loving others oftentimes requires one's ability to love themselves first. It's a weird dichotomy many of us live in. Do you give love a chance with the knowledge that "your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken"? Or do you lock it up where "it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable"?

Here is what some other famous people have said about friendships and relationships:

“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” Albert Camus

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” William Shakespeare

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” Aristotle

“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” Jon Katz

"Aloneness can lead to loneliness. God's preventative for loneliness is intimacy - meaningful, open, sharing relationships with one another. In Christ we have the capacity for the fulfilling sense of belonging which comes from intimate fellowship with God and with other believers." Neil T. Anderson